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TheCopyWhisperer

Where Your Copy Foals Grow into Mighty Copy Studs

Here’s one totally-not-a-revelation-at-all scrap of information…

Writing is easy.

Anyone can sit down and type stream of consciousness stuff that reads pretty.

Looking for page-turner writing that makes you all fuzzy and warm inside?

I’m not your guy.

Looking for a sales psychology buff whose writing makes people do exactly what you want them to do?

Welcome, my name is Ivan and I’m the Copy Whisperer.

I’ll take your sales funnel, dismantle it, learn all I need to know about your audience, put it back together, and write researched, hard-hitting copy that grows you bank account… even if you have no idea what a sales funnel is.

Here are some sorely ignored areas in your business where you can put me to work:

✅ Attention-grabbing copy for your PPC ads (Google, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn) that stops people mid-scroll and makes them go: “Hey, this is actually interesting, let me read it.”

✅ Landing pages that mimic the internal dialog of your reader word-for-word (my research is so on-point, I tell the uninitiated it’s magic… but it’s mostly just amazing skill)

✅ Heart-string-tugging, funny, and/or outrageous email copy that compels people to open all your emails and burn through them in seconds (yes, even transaction emails)

✅ Converting-like-crazy long-form sales pages that take readers from: “What the heck is this?” to the phase you want them to be in: :”I NEED this in my life RIGHT NOW”

✅ Product and service copy that asks for the sale in a way that makes it impossible for readers to say no… they would rather chew their foot off than pass up on your great offer

(Pssst! I also do content writing occasionally. Things like SEO blog pieces that rank like crazy, editorial-type writing for big publications, and ultimate-guide-style behemoths that businesses use as lead magnets. But I vet ruthlessly and, if you want me to write about a boring topic without making it interesting, that’s not going to happen no matter the moolah).

***THIS BIT HERE IS IMPORTANT***

We’re not gonna mush together nicely to produce great work if you:

✖ Want your copy right this minute… that’s not how this works, and it’s not how you get the best results for your business.

✖ You’re selling shady products… it takes thousands of years and tons of dirt and pressure to turn turds into diamonds. I’m in short supply of all those things.

✖ You can’t be bothered to jump on a call or three… I’ll have a lot of questions that only you can answer. Want great results? Answer my questions!

✖ You think Game of Thrones had an epic ending… I can’t even…

***AND THIS ONE IS DOUBLY IMPORTANT (& I HOPE YOUR BIZ IS HERE)***

But, if you’re like thousands of marketers out there and you…

🎲 have a great product or service but don’t have the right words…

🎳 have the right words but not sure who to point them at…

🎯 have the wording and the targeting but don’t have the time…

Click that invite or message button and let’s see how I can make your words dance and your bank account swell.

I did that for a bunch of other entrepreneurs, SaaS companies, and e-commerce websites. Here’s what they have to say about my work:

*** Ivan did an amazing job for us in building out 50+ high-quality, conversion-centric SEO landing pages. An A+ copywriter who always delivers.***

Tom/Handy[dot]com [Handy’s landing pages are now pulling in 60% of their organic traffic (approximately 85,000 per month), and converting 1/5 of visitors that land on them.]

*** It’s been a pleasure working with Ivan over the past months. His email copy is on fire – researched to death and converting like crazy.***

Eli/NimbleMedia[dot]com [NimbleMedia’s email-clickthrough rates are through the roof – 112% increase when measured against (a great-performing in the first place) control copy.]

*** Ivan did an amazing job for us in building out 50+ high-quality, conversion-centric SEO landing pages. An A+ copywriter who always delivers.***

Tom/Handy[dot]com [Handy’s landing pages are now pulling in 60% of their organic traffic (approximately 85,000 per month), and converting 1/5 of visitors that land on them.]

 

NOTE: Believe it or not, I get so much work these days that I have to turn people down! Put your writing chops to work when sending a message and tell me why we’d be a great fit. I’ll make time to work with you but you have to grab my attention (and no, $$$ will mostly not work with me – unless it’s enough to buy me a 60-ft sailboat. I really need a sailboat in my life).

FAQs

Q Do you do refunds?

Nope. Nah. Not my shtick.

You'll be happy to know that I've never given a refund in my 9 years of writing copy.

Two reasons for that:

a) I was never asked a full refund - sure, sometimes the scope changed and I ended up charging less... but never a full refund.

b) Copy is important... but it's not the alpha and omega of your project. If you're sending crappy traffic to it... give me the wrong info... or don't do the work that you need to do to get those customers converting... Well, that's hardly on me, right?

Luckily for you, that b option won't come into play because I'll make sure you know exactly what to do once I send you my magic copy.

Q Wait, what if you can't write in my voice?

Well, that would be a first...

You see, writing voice is not something ethereal... no matter what people say. It's a structured thing that's defined by vocabulary, tone, and cadence. Those of us who have mastered it can write in pretty much any voice.

And I did my homework.

Q How soon can you take on my project?

How soon can that money be on my account?

JK, of course. There's a timeline here. I usually start working on stuff a couple of weeks after we close our deal. In between, we'll schedule a couple of calls (usually two) where I'll ask some question... and we'll both brainstorm a bit.

Don't worry, though - once I get the ball rolling, you'll get your copy back ASAP (sometimes within a week... but that depends on the scope).

Q Do you have any samples of your work?

Yeah, I have oodles of samples. I'll show you mine if you show me yours?

(Don't sweat it - you'll get to see and assess my work once you get in touch with me).

Q What did you think about the GoT finale?

Sacrilegious.

If you think that was awesome, I'm afraid we won't work well together.

I'm 110% serious here.